Just spent a day without outer disturbances, I mean I just
tired again to regain my internal peace after five days of soul-crushing
interaction with outer world. I don’t know why I find interacting with others acidic
in taste. I feel dizzy whilst interactions, although, they say
social interaction is very important for growth. But I find it nauseous and I scare
one day my stomach would puke in the middle of them regardless of their feelings.
Although only their insanity would be responsible for this, at least I think this
way. But I followed every protocol of keeping them happy then what went wrong?
But it’s not your problem. It’s your mistake that you
accepted that, I say this mistake because talking your heart has become a crime;
although, they keep teaching you talk your heart, at least in textbooks;
although, those textbooks they sold to earn money, those good words they pretended
to teach you to make themselves bigger in your eyes when you were small; it’s
your mistake you accepted those words as truth. And it’s that training that you
inherited when collides with so called practical world, your original
thinking process you inherited as a child revolts leaving you in a condition
called thought congestion and then they teach you to “be practical,” although
it’s only they who taught to be true. And in this process they create a
thinking tank to fire one day only on themselves and often they name their own
creations criminal, murderer, rapist, frantic, and a list of abusive names. At
least I think this way.
Then the word humiliation comes into my thoughts and then
its opponent admiration and my thoughts go on.
When I started writing this blog I thought of writing
something else and you can find it even if you casually look back at first few
lines and then my unlimited, crazy thoughts started wandering and I decided to
let it be. Trouble is that my thoughts starts wandering at nights, however, I still
enjoy them. And then I think if these unlimited thoughts make me happy then why
I restrict myself in a circle of so called big titles. So if next time
someone gives you a special title and calls you ‘sir,’ think otherwise. At least I am
going to think twice.
